I am going to try to do better after reading these other posts and use them as encouragenent in my quest to be a better parent. I have never been a yeller, but I used to do all of the other things rolling eyes, tone of voice, sigh, etc. Love Jessica. Hi Rachel I loved what you had to say.
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I was terrified of my parents and I never shared anything that was important with them and did not trust them to be there for me at all. I want my kids to have a healthy relationship so that their kids will have a healthy relationship and so on. It is so wonderful that you recognized what yelling was doing with to your kids and found ways to nurture your kids to be caring loving individuals. It is said that we will raise our children the way we were raised but I like to think that we can change…its recognizing what needs to be changed and acting on it that will make the difference for our kids, grandkids and so on.
I hope that a lot of people will get an opportunity to read this heartwarming and honest journal that I think will open the eyes of many parents and parents to be. Thankyou for sharing. One last comment addressed to you, Rachel. My friend in Dubai posted this on her FB wall. As soon as I read it I was also moved to tears. This came to me at the perfect time. You have inspired me and have given me the profound sense of urgency to take steps towards change. Thank you!!
Thank you so much for sharing. As I read your story, I felt like it was myself I was reading about. Very touching. Thank you. Knowing I am not alone in my failures as a parent just helped me breath a little deeper.
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Thank you for your courage to post. Loving loudly my cousin says…I still strive to find our peace together. Thanks for being out there sharing this with me and all others struggling with our amazing children. I have read this post again n again as I tend to become a yeller mom intermittently. I am so grateful to you for sharing this so beautifully and its really no surprise that you are so successful. God bless you and your family. Love Always. Well done, you! We have 2 new businesses so I let go of perfection a long time ago.
But the constant feeling of being overwhelmed can push me to the point of exploding, and usually at the people I love the most, and deserve it the least. Could feel the tension building as soon as I opened my eyes this morning, going into one of the busiest weekends of the year for us.
I started this same journey during lent this past year. I gave up yelling for lent.
Some days were harder than others. I was doing much better, but I find myself reverting. You have given me new hope that I can still change my ways. Kathleen, I love the idea of giving up yelling for Lent. The second best time is now. Reading this was very emotional for me and rang very true for both my husband and I. Thank you so much for your well written words of wisdom.
Im going to give it a try!! Thankyou for this post… it brought up a whole bunch of things for me. I remember when my daughters were young, and how i over reacted. I was trying to be perfect with everything i did. My daughters see me different now. I love my daughters a great deal. I hope i did not damage them…. Like you I have 2 young children. I have been sick for 4 years. Trying to be a super mom despite my limitations is my downfall.
I have been on terrible medications that alter mood and increase anxiety. Thanks to a few surgeries those meds are no longer needed. Unfortunately I still have many limitations that leave me tired and make the simplest of tasks seem overwhelming.
The Important Thing About Yelling
Mine as well as all children are far to precious to be treated this way. If we want them to have the tools to succeed in times of extreme stress or difficulty we need to show them! Thank you for this letter. I will not yell, I will be a hands free Mom and calm all the extra noise tv, radio, loud toys, iPads during stressful times or moments. Not the noise from all other devices. It helps to calm me and focus on the task at hand. The important ones, my children. As a proud mom of a 3 yr old boy and another bundle of joy to join my family in a few weeks, I can honestly say you are already changing my life for the better.
Thank you! After being a yeller to my three first children, God gave me another chance. I had two more precious baby girls. I started to think about the important things in life. I started to think that one day they will be grown and right now this is our life. Cheerios on the floor, lost shoes, and getting a late start. That was many years ago, they are all grown, and we survived. Wow, thank you so much for sharing your personal story. As I read this, I felt the shame and guilt rise up in me because I have become a yeller.
I do not want my kids to see me in that manner, ever!! And starting today, I want to be a mother who is compassionate, understanding and loving.
I need to remember that their childhood goes so fast, and if I need a moment to calm down, to do so and then come back to them with love and compassion in my eyes, rather than rage. I have an almost 4 yr old. I am conscious of it most times and can stop myself, but there are those times when I am trying to do too many things at once and then he does something like a child does and I take that frustration out on him and yell. I need to stop. I am going to work on stopping that behavior..
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I want him to know when I mean business, but that just sends the wrong message and I couldnt imagine it getting to the point when he is welling up just by fearing me, oh no.. Thank you so much for this post! I am not a mama yet, but I was an only child raised by an internally conflicted mother, who wanted to be loving and nurturing but allowed her rage to dictate the way she raised me. I remember clearly being seven years old and watching through tear-filled eyes as she scoffed and rolled her eyes when I tried to explain that her yelling made me afraid.
Today, we have a push me-pull you relationship, and it frustrates her that we are not closer. Thank you for graciously accepting the ways that your yelling was injuring your children and affirmatively changing yourself for their best interest! Thank you so much for sharing! I think as mothers, we all are trying so hard. I feel inadequate constantly!
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Thanks again! Much love! Thank you, Jen! This really means a lot to me. So glad you left this comment. Very touching and meaningful post. My wife and I were just talking about this exact subject last night while we lay in bed. We have a 5 year old boy and a 6 month old boy. We are doing all the same missteps and are willing to change to give our boys a more loving childhood.
I cant tell you how much I needed this…its like in my time of worry and feelings of failure as a parent this post shows up on my page and completely broke me down ,but inlightend me on how much I and we will strive to be that rock for our kids.